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a project

10 films that describe the moods of my 2005:
1 die blechtrommel (the tin drum)
2 pierrot le fou
3 goyangileul butaghae (take care of my cat)
4 domicile conjugal (bed and board)
5 såsom i en spegel (through a glass darkly)
6 sedmikrasky (daisies)
7 the party
8 krótki film o milosci (a short film about love)
9 if....
10 le locataire (the tenant)

I've decided this as an alternative to 'my favourite films ever' or 'my top films of 2005' or what have you. I don't like all that.

I'd like to see other people's lists. :/ if you're not a movie person, I'm sure albums, paintings, or novels would work just as well.

Dec. 20th, 2005

Fuck this shit...

I fought in the Desert for more time than I should have.
College money my ass...

two years later I still wake up screaming.

Fuck the rest...

I still fuck to know that I'm alive... And according to recent activiites, I'm more than living...

AllI want is to be happy... but it is hard to be happy when all you dream of is fire and blood...

it's after 2am and I'm awake and drunk... as is the usual...

"an army of one" fighting my own nightmares...

two pieces

well she, the dagger-tongue girl who smokes
the cheap cheap smokes, with the wristwatch
made of bubble gum wrappers, did fly
straight through the stratosphere
on a motorbike painted like a lady's lips,
'not a bad trip, [not at all]' she says,
'but nothing i have not seen before.'


freewrite, one hundred and twenty seconds

he measured the diameter of his bicycle wheel is old and rusted
drove it from his home to school and said it took him 2.8 km to get from there to here
counting the rotations and the like
they said he was autistic
"theistic evolution sits on the fence"
and my girl's taking fencing lessons she's beautiful you see, she'll poke an eye out with that thing
"i wondered how long it would take me to say that," diane said, 'i'm 43 years old and i finally said 'you'll poke an eye out'"
like with bicycle spokes
my girl, her scary memory was of a bicycle crash land from a treetop
all the cool kids want to climb the trees; i was never a cool kid but i did climb trees
and did pick out cucumber-seeds from cu-cu-cucumbers in a red red lunch box with a hip 90's cat wearing glasses on the front because in the 90's it was hip for cats to wear glasses
but you didn't drink from glasses in the 90's, you drank from tetra paks /because they were recyclable and everybody liked recycling
her dad gave her a tangerine in her stocking every year but now he's gone so this year i will give her a tangerine instead because christmas is that time where //.

she doesn't even like citrus fruit
for example
if someone is talking to you on the bus and you feel that the conversation is getting really lengthy and you don't want to talk, just end the conversation.
who cares about how that hurts their feelings? what did they expect from bothering a stranger?
the people you should care about are those who are close to you.
save your hate, your love, your passion and caring for those who actually deserve it.
so, just tell the guy next to you to fuck off.
he'll get over it.

Something to try...

Here's something for you to try...

Imagine that tomorrow, you will wake up with NO memory of who you are. NOTHING... Just a blank slate - with the exception of the whole eating, breathing talking thing... you'll have all that... just no memory... Kinda like the movie Memento.. only a little more so.

Well, now, imagine that you know this is coming... and write yourself a note that you would leave for your future self to get upon waking...

rules: Limit yourself to 3o minutes of time in which to write this... Other than that... no rules really.

Post it here.

Bold your answers and win a fabulous prize!





Do you identify with a subculture/counter culture movement?

Not Sure

If you identify with a subculture which is closest to your own identification?

other: _________

What course/subjects have you enjoyed studying most? (pick two)

computer studies

Would you consider yourself more:


I make judgements based on:

what is logical
what is moral

Would you rather be:

listening to music
making music (you don't have to be talented)

Do you prefer having a schedule?

Yes, it makes me feel organized
No, I'd rather have my day play out by itself

What type of job would you rather have?

A structured one that is secure and pays well
One that is dynamic but not necessarily a constant income

(Thanks, you just helped Becky and I finish our Anthro homework!)
I have invented Djarums using a 200 gram tub of tobacco, ground clove, and zig zag rolling papers.

Indonesia sucks.
Sometimes I'm afraid that when I grow up and move away, I'll make a habit of pretending to be other people. I'll go to clubs or shows and make up life stories for entirely fictional people with fictional friends and fictional accents and fictional personalities. I'll write books and act out all my characters in real life to find out how people really react to them. I'll make charts and record and edit. I'll dress up and play the part and it will all just be a mildly interesting passtime. Like people watching.

But with lying and acting and treating people like lab rats, too.

(xposted to my personal journal)

My father visited me this weekend. And he asked me how my art classes were going.

Of course a simple questioned extended to a fervid discussion on art, and I ended up gaping at my father in awe - still believing that I can never attain such an elevated consciousness.

This thus left me musing again after my father talked about the present artists' portrayal of their realities. I am lost at the conclusion of: Post-modern theories does not seem to back up the real deal of post-modern art. What do you think?

  And ... what is left for art in the future?

as a final project for my aesthetics class, we are to present - in the most orignial way possible - ANYTHING.

any help from you guys? i have had enough of blatant counterculture themes, or computer-aided presentations, and my mind has sizzled into ocean water. help