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disclaimer: I wrote this at the beginning of March, and I only feel comfortable posting this now that every one of the people I mention below backs out on their agreement.

Ok, so it's that time of year again. It's Lent. Time to reflect on my life and what I have accomplished and think about what changes I can make to re-focus on my faith as well as my future. For me, at least. For everyone else, apparently, it's time to incorporate a single aspect of the Catholic faith into their dogma in the hopes of making themselves feel more righteous or, hell I don't know, maybe just to fit in.

In my years as a Christian, I've faced many months of Lent and experienced many personal challenges (no meat, no sleeping in, no caffeine, and fasting to name a few), and I've always felt a little bit stronger and in control by the end because I set myself a goal and I accomplished it. I COMMITTED to something, with no loopholes or exceptions. That IS what lent is about, after all. This notion of 'I'm going to give up drinking....for as long as I can....except for certain days...' is a joke. If you're that freaking dependant on something, don't pretend you can give it up and DON'T do it in the name of a faith you have no belief in.

When I was a good little Christian girl, I was taught that Lent was an opportunity to abandon our vices in favor of building a deeper relationship with God. All the time you used to spend thinking about food or sleep or sex you spend thinking about Jesus. Sound corny? Fine. DON'T DO IT! Don't take what should be a time of spiritual growth and turn it into a self-centred ritual aimed at raising your grades or saving yourself a couple bucks. And what's this 'I'll do it for as long as I can' garbage? If you ACTUALLY wanted to, you could give it up FOREVER. I mean, you're not addicted, dependant, or entirely useless are you? You COULD give up drinking, but you enjoy it too much...so you figure you'll just give it up until your desire to drink overcomes your misguided notion that you 'gave it up' for lent. I mean, really, do you have any self-control at all? Call me naive, but I expect more from people.

I've dealt with many who don't take lent seriously. The kind that offer to buy me food, lace my soup with chicken broth, or, if I'm fortunate enough to be living with my dad at the time, sneak into my room and turn off my alarm. It comes with the territory...I get it. But to have people I'm close to and have great respect for undermine not only the Christian faith but their ability to commit to ANYTHING AT ALL breaks my spirit a little.

Now, I don't consider myself a righteous person. Far from it. And I don't talk about my faith often...partly for fear of making people feel judged and uncomfortable, but more than anything because I don't like being judged by others. 'You're not a real Christian', 'Oh, UNITED Church....', 'You can believe in God and still go to Hell, you know'...i'm sure you get it. But I figured in a Catholic residence (or for you people from CHS, such an open-minded community) people would at least have the respect to be educated about Lent or else stay the hell away from it. Apparently not. Apparently lent is the month where we name our top vice (not surprisingly, it's alcohol for almost everyone) and congratulate ourselves for every day we survive without it. Good job, you guys. Me? I'll give up masturbation....except for the days I don't get laid.


something pseudo-intellectual.

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